I was once told by a male friend that I should "stop leading guys on" just because I was friendly. At first, I felt slightly surprised. What did he mean? I was just being nice—smiling, making conversation, treating people like, you know, human beings. But he was serious. He genuinely believed that my kindness was being misinterpreted, not because of me, but because of how men are wired to see it.

And that got me thinking. Why do so many men assume a woman is flirting just because she's friendly, nice and kind?

The answer is actually simpler than you'd expect:

It's because these men (not all men) would never be kind and nice to a woman they weren't attracted to.

Let that sink in.

If a man is only respectful, warm, and engaging with women he's interested in, then he assumes women must work the same way. He can't fathom the idea that a woman is just being kind for the sake of it—because, in his world, kindness towards the opposite sex always has an ulterior motive.

This is why so many women feel the need to put up emotional walls when interacting with men. Because the moment you show basic human decency, it's like some men start crafting an imaginary love story in their heads.