Knowing how to interact with the stranger doesn't always come naturally, Which is why I thought it would be a good idea to talk about how to have a normal conversation in the only way I know how, Which is through a seven-minute monologue, Reason being it's pretty much whenever I go out in the real world, I say to myself "you know, today is the day that a nice stranger might come up and have a conversation with me." And that's simply not a risk I'm willing to take.
But despite my best efforts to look like this guy, I've realized that no matter how much you try to look like someone who just wants to go about their own business, The ear-buds-in-no-eye-contact strategy can only take you so far.
As an example, I was in the elevator the other day taking my bicycle out.
And this guy was like: Nice bike, is it fast?
And I was like: Yeah man, pretty fast.
And then he said: Probably not as fast as my car.
And then he waddled out of the elevator on the wrong floor.
And I was just standing there thinking first of all, my legs are f* massive, so check yourself.
But second of all, what bothered me wasn't that what he said made no sense; it was that he didn't realize it made no sense.
Like that guy left the interaction, thinking his smoldering Ryan Gosling impression left me trembling at his raw masculinity, When in reality I left the interaction, like going right back up to my apartment to Google small talk tutorials because he was so confident that I figured it must have been me who was missing something.
