Australia, the land of kangaroos, the place where every living creature is secretly plotting your demise.
A first world country with third world internet speeds.
It's the only travel destination where just down the road means 200 kilometers, and your road trip playlist better include three seasons of a podcast.
The weather's upside down, Christmas is in summer, and you'll probably eat an animal here that's on the endangered species list somewhere else.
Australia divided itself into six states because apparently chopping it into 50, just like America, was too much paperwork.
Six states, one territory, and a whole lot of rivalry.
The second largest of them, Queensland, is our first stop.
If Australia is already dangerous, Queensland is where it goes pro.
This is the state where tourists underestimate everything and pay for it, where locals are weirdly relaxed about crocodiles in their backyard, and where the phrase she'll be right has been stretched to cover jellyfish stings, shark bites and floods the size of Belgium.
First, the basics.
