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Hi, everyone and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆. Hi, 安澜.

Hi, Lulu. Hi, everyone.

Can I propose a topic today?

Yeah, go for it.

Well, you notice the season is changing or the seasons are changing.

Yes, it’s getting colder. There’s a bit of a chill in the air, isn't there?

Yeah, and I've noticed my single or divorced friends are suddenly getting very busy on dating apps. Coincidence?

Not at all. That is because we are entering probably the most…

Desperate?

Yeah, I was gonna say in the most desperate time of the year. We are entering now cuffing season.

Ah, you know me so well that this is what I wanna talk about. I actually talked about this in Buzzword Mix, but I thought that was a pretty clinical discussion. I thought we’d get more into it since it's cuffing season again.

Well, why not?

For those of you who don't really know this expression, you're probably thinking… I don't know what you're thinking actually. Because most people think about cuff, they think about handcuffs and they probably...their minds can go everywhere, depending on what they know, what their preferences are. But cuffing season is actually more cuddly.

It is. So is that time of year between autumn and winter, so normally kind of like late October to February.  That's when single people, they get this sudden urge, they want to find a partner to cuff or lock down for the colder months.

This is very realistic, but very sad. It's like I think there's something very primal, very animalistic about how you want to huddle together to get through the harsh winter.

Well exactly. Even though that nowadays we don't live in caves, we don't go out and hunt animals, but there is still that desire, particularly it's cold at nights and the evenings are very long, you don't really wanna go out, you wanna stay at home and have a nice cuddle.

Exactly. It's like in the summer everyone's out, you can stay out for the small hours in the morning, and everything seems really vibrant. But in winter no one is out. They're all at home cuddled up with their partner and if you're single, that's gonna be a very long winter for you.

Well exactly. And also you have to think as well that is linked to holidays. So you have Halloween, and people start thinking about, well the Americans, they'll start thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. So there's that kind of whole section of the year that's filled with holidays that basically just focus on couples or families.

You don't want to be the singled out weirdos, sorry, no offense but singled out person who will just go to a party alone and possibly come back alone.

Well yeah, so you go to the party and everyone's asking, “Ah, so you're here, are you on your own?” Or you start seeing your friends or your colleagues, who might be slightly more unattractive than you, kind of with someone.

They’re all coupled up.

They’re all coupled up.

I mean it is a pretty I think in China although we don't really have those the specific term, such as cuffing season, but I think people feel the same. Especially those people who are not living with their family, they're like in a huge city like Beijing, Shanghai on their own. And you can't really count on your friends because your friends will go into the cuffing season mode, and they will get coupled up and forget all about you. Trust me, I’ve been through that.

Yeah, the Netflix and Chill.

Yeah.  And when does it end? It ends when the spring comes?

Well yeah. So I always think, does cuffing season mean different things in different regions, like for example in tropical areas?

There are no cuffing season.

Is there like a monsoon season or… I don't know. I'm quite curious.

Could be. Or maybe if you're in like Greenland and it’s cuffing season all year round.

Exactly, yeah. The question is why? Why do we do this?

Only the other day, I actually read an article about the psychological and social drive, the drivers behind cuffing season. So I will take the biological and psychological factors,  right? First of all, it is instinctual. You know some animals, they go into hibernation, right? 就是那个冬眠那种动物.

And some people I know.

Such as yourself, perhaps.

Such as me.

Hibernation instinct. So on a very primal level, we share the sort of instinct to hunker down for winter. We don't want to be out, because obviously increased exposure would subject us to risks of being frozen to death. So having a partner provides warmth, security, and very importantly, companionship. You might not need your partner to support... to provide warmth, because you have heating for that, but companionship. And also 安澜, you know this, you’re from the country that invented the word SAD,  Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Well, that’s true. There's a lack of sunlight and that affects our mood. So when you're in a relationship, particularly a new relationship, you get that emotional boost, you get that buzz.

And I call it oxytocin rush.

Well, there we go.

就是催产素开始起作用. And it's so much colder outside compared with inside and the incentive to stay in and be cozy is just much higher.

Well exactly. So there are the social and cultural pressures as well. So we talked about the holidays that there's just like a long list of holidays, and you need to really have a plus one for many of them.

Because a lot of these are couple-centric events.

Yeah, or family-centric.

The pressure to have plus one. So you tell your friends you're going to the party. They ask you because they need to count how many people are coming. They're like, are you bringing someone? Do you have a plus one?  And every time you have to say, no,  it's me and my wine mug.

Exactly. And then you get to the dinner table, and this is probably when you're seeing extended family and they ask you the question, “So... are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

We talked about 催婚 before. So in Britain, do family do that as well?

Well yeah, but they wouldn't say, ok, you need to get married. They would ask you questions like “oh, so are you seeing anyone?” or “oh, did you hear about your cousin..”

Who just got married or had the gazillions of kids.

Yeah, that’s it, and they've just had their 10th child or have you heard about your old neighbor, yeah, even though he's incredibly ugly, he's married a super model. It’s that kind of thing.

Or like, your former schoolmate already going through his third divorce. You haven't even gone through your first one. And of course, social media and the whole FOMO, it feels like everyone is coupled up and they are showing these perfect couple pictures, spending the holiday skiing or sharing hot pot even and then that can trigger a major fear of missing out, that what am I doing with my life?

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文稿校对：Yejing & Jenny

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