古话说 "人比人气死人"，"不患寡而患不均"的现代意义更是提醒我们，有时候 "比较" 比 "现状" 来得更令人不悦，这很有点FOMO“错失恐惧症”的味道。

如果你对之前的节目还有点印象, 我们曾讲到过FOMO这个词, FOMO, the fear of missing out. 中文把它翻译成 “错失恐惧症”.

Now FOMO refers to feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives or experiencing better things than you are.

这种所谓的 FOMO或者 “错失恐惧症”主要指的就是在社交媒体横行的今天, 我们随时随地都会觉得别人正在过着比我们更精彩的生活, 我们很担心会错失这样的人生经历.

今天的 Buzzword 就是把 FOMO 前面的 F 改成了 J. So what then is JOMO?

Let me ask you a question, have you ever felt a sense of joy, happiness when you knew you were missing out on an invitation to a party or the latest social media posts and influencer trends because you were “unplugged”?

大家有没有经历过那种最近什么网上流行的新潮流, 但是你没有赶上, 因为你没有关注社交媒体而错过这些潮流, 你有没有感受到一种特殊的轻松和喜悦？

If so, then you have probably experienced JOMO – the joy of missing out.

“错过的喜悦”, 我还看到一个翻译叫做 “错过之欢”.

In many ways, JOMO can be considered the opposite of FOMO.

刚才我们也说了FOMO这个错失恐惧症更多的是跟 anxiety 焦虑, 还有其他各种的负面情绪连接在一起的.

It's easy to blame technology and social media for FOMO.

However, in fact, FOMO is rooted in our innate tendency to socially compare ourselves to others as we seek to better understand who we are and our place in the world.

很多人就会把FOMO怪在社交媒体上, 但实际上网络也好, 社交媒体也好, 不过是一个手段.

而这种不断的想通过和别人比较, 来寻求自己在社会中的定位, 这是我们人类与生俱来的一个天性.

Comparing ourselves to people who appear better off than we are can provide hope and inspiration to drive self-improvement.

可能有人就说看到那些光彩照人的网红, 我们有的时候也会收下这一波鸡血, 汲取一些力量.

But for some people, these upward social comparisons can fuel FOMO by highlighting what we're lacking and instead prompt negative self evaluations.

但如果你总跟比你更优秀更美丽更好的人比, 与其说是受到鼓舞, 不如说是让你更加的知道自己哪些方面不足, 并且降低你对自我的评价, 引起你的自卑感.

In contrast, when we accept and are satisfied with what we have and who we are will be less likely to make unhealthy social comparisons and more likely to experience JOMO.

虽然之前大家讨论更多的是FOMO会有哪些坏处, 不过近些年来, 关于JOMO “错过之欢”的研究也开始出现了.

For example, on October 4th 2021, billions of people worldwide were “unplugged” from their social media channels when Meta experienced a technical failure that resulted in a six-hour outage of Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp.

有可能还有人记得 2021 年一个非常大的技术灾难, 也就是10月4号的时候Meta出现了一个大规模的宕机, 导致Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp整整6个多小时不能用;

这就导致全球无数的人被迫被 "unplugged from social media", 断掉了他们的社交媒体.

Researchers surveyed social media users over the next 2 days about their emotional experiences and found that not surprisingly many people were stressed by losing access to their social media.

当网络恢复之后, 对用户的随访确实发现很多人非常的焦虑, 因为没有办法登录自己的social media.

But they also found that for some people, being disconnected, came with a sense of relief and even positive feelings, in other words, JOMO.

不过很有意思的是也有不少被随访的用户, 这难得的几个小时不能用社交媒体给他们带来了a sense of relief, 一种宽慰甚至轻松的感觉, 以及其他的各种各样的正面的感觉.

这个就是所谓的JOMO, the joy of missing out.

Essentially JOMO is the emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO. 可以说 JOMO 简直就是 FOMO的一个解毒剂.

You do not need to compare your life to others but instead, practice tuning out the background noise and learn to let go of worrying whether you are doing something wrong.

它让你不再随时随地的去跟别人比, 生活在这种极度竞争的环境里, 让你能够屏蔽掉背景的很多杂音, 不再去不停的担心自己是不是做的不够好或者做错了什么.

Instead of constantly trying to keep up with others on social media, it allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness.

既然JOMO这种 “错过之欢”如此美妙, how to achieve it？Here are five tips.

Schedule things that are important to you instead of wasting time worrying about what other individuals are doing or thinking.

首先我们要对自己的时间更有掌控力, 更加明确的去计划我们要做的事情, 而不是在那刷着手机羡慕别人的生活.

Give yourself permission to live in the present. 允许自己活在当下.

If you're having a bad day, be easy on yourself and treat yourself to a relaxing evening.

If you received good news, then take a moment to embrace it and celebrate.

Ultimately you're living your life, not someone else's.

之前我们也说过社交媒体的阶段, if you feel like certain social media or influencers are giving you a lot of anxiety, then just simply unsubscribe or un-follow.

对于那些给你带来很多负能量, 加大你焦虑感的账号, up主直接取关.

学会说不!

You do not always have to go to the event or take that phone call, sometimes self-care and self-love start with saying nope.

其实你想想这个世界上并没有那么多你必须要去的局.

Experience real life, not social media life.

JOMO allows you to have more free time by eliminating wasted time spent scrolling social media feeds.

Instead do the things that you enjoy in real life, such as cooking, sports, spending time outdoors, being with your family.

I know it's easier said than done when we're literally bombarded by social media feeds.

But ultimately we all have to take stock of our lives and think about what is the true path to happiness.

Example 1：

-JOMO allows us to slow down and live in the moment, instead of always competing with others.