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Hi everyone, and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆.

Hi, 安澜.

Hi, Lulu, hi, everyone.

Let's talk about the genuine appeal, shall we? So like you said the first is a sense of control. Like we said before in a world that we can’t control that much, the economy, the environment, school policies. What you can control is what food you buy and what products you use and that’s powerful.

Well, yeah. And I guess as well parenting can be lonely. Especially when you’re a new parent, so finding a group of people who share your values, who are not gonna judge you for breast feeding in public or skipping the stroller. That's a real connection.

And I’ve done some research, the online crunchy mom groups are active.

Yeah.

There're like thousands of posts on any forum in a day. Questions answered within a minute. It's almost like you have your back, on-call help community.

Well, yeah.

Helpline.

Yeah.

Especially when, you know, for a new mom, they’re often exhausted and they’re often doubting themselves.

Well, yeah.

And I guess it's also the ‘best for my baby’ feeling. Every parent wants to do what's best for their child and crunchy parenting offers a clear framework. Natural is better, it feels virtuous, it feels like you’re going the extra mile.

But this is where it gets tricky though, the whole natural food movement. We understand the problem with ultra processed products now.

Yeah.

But it's not really necessarily the more natural the better.

No.

Yeah. Natural doesn't always mean better and better for one family might not be feasible or affordable for another.

Well, exactly. And if you're a single mom working two jobs, you're probably not gonna have the time to make homemade baby food and that doesn't make her a bad parent.

Exactly. And the crunchy community, at its best, acknowledges that. At its worst...well, we're going to talk about that. This is when crunchy goes too far.

So let's talk about the dark side.

OK. So Let's talk about the problems, because every trend has its own shadow side, its own dark side, and crunchy mom culture is no exception.

So the first one, like many of these communities, there is the shaming culture.

Yeah.

这个shaming culture就感觉是有点鄙视链的那种. Basically, if you are one of us, then fine, if you don't do what we appreciate or what we think is the right thing to do, then we shame you.

Well like crunchy moms would shame non-crunchy moms like, oh you use disposable diapers. Do you know what chemicals are in those?

Or... that comes from the other side, the silky mom so to speak, they say to crunchy moms “Oh, so you're one of those moms, good luck with your essential oils”.

And what's the result? Parents feel judge no matter what they do. And new parents who are already vulnerable might start to feel like they've failed before they've even started.

Exactly, I mean I've seen posts from moms saying I wanted to breast feed but I couldn't.

Now I feel like I've failed my baby, some women just don't really have enough breast milk to feed the child and they shouldn't be made to feel bad about themselves. And also in terms of choices, someone said “I tried cloth diapers but couldn't keep up with the laundry”, like we talked about... because someone's gotta wash those used diapers if you use cloth diapers. And then they ask “am I a bad mom”?

Exactly. And the goal of parenting is a healthy love child. It's not a checklist.

Unfortunately social media, especially these curated contents posted by professional content creators tend to go to that extreme.

Oh, yeah. And you have to think as well that with any online community, there is misinformation as with any online community, there is misinformation, and some extreme corners of crunchy culture promote dangerous ideas, so anti-vaccine rhetoric, refusing medical care for sick children, using essential oils instead of antibiotics for serious infections.

There's a fine line between being natural and reject like ultra processed food and just anti science or science denying, pseudoscience.

But we have to be careful here. Most crunchy moms are not anti vaccine or refusing medical treatment for their children. Most are reasonable people who just want the best for their kids.

Yeah.

But as with any online community, the extreme voice is allowed. And on social media they spread very fast.

True.

And of course we haven't even talked about the financial strain as with the natural food, the whole idea of natural food, it's actually quite expensive. Organic food is expensive, and if you want everything to be super super natural and premium quality, it also might take you more time to prepare.

Well, yeah. Crunchy parenting is frankly a privilege. It's a middle class privilege because you have that time, you have that money in order to do it. And if you can't afford those things, then you start feeling that you're not crunchy enough.

Yeah.

That doesn't make you a bad parent.

Exactly. When you cared that much about the whole trend, then you're trying to do everything, naturally homemade meals, cloth diapers, constant baby wearing like zero screen time, to be natural, to unplug. This is exhausting. And already new parents are exhausted, especially new moms and exhausted parents aren't good for the baby.

They're not good for anyone. And there is a reason why sometimes we say “fed is best”.

喂饱就行。

Yeah, a fed baby with a mentally healthy mom is much better than a breast fed baby with a mom on the edge of a breakdown.

True. So we've painted a picture. Crunchy parents does have its own real appeal-community, control, a sense of doing your best for your kids. But it also has some real risks-shaming, guilt, extremism, misinformation, burnout.

So where's the balance? How do we take the good parts without the bad.

Well, as with anything I would say permission to be imperfect. So you can care about organic food without only feeding your child organic food. You can prefer cloth diapers without feeling guilty, but use disposable ones when you have no other alternative.

Yeah. I think as was anything there is the balance.

Oh, yeah.

So as we're approaching the end of this episode, let's open up the discussion. I know we're not parents ourselves, but you know we have friends who are parents, some of them are new parents.

So let's discuss some of these important questions.

Yeah. So the first question would be, do you think crunchy mom culture is more about connection or about control?

Good question. I think it starts off as connection. You find a community that shares your values, but it can become about control when you're trying to manage anxiety, controlling what your child eats, wears, touches. That can be a way of managing fear.

Yeah.

Then let me ask you a question, like if you look at these parenting methods or philosophy, what do you think you would draw the line between natural or crunchy parenting and extremism?

For me, the line is when natural choices start causing harm. If you’re avoiding life-saving medical treatment, that's extremism.

Sure.

If your choices are making you miserable or your child sick, that's too far.

I agree. The line is harm. If it's not harming anyone, it's just a choice if it's harming your child or yourself, either mentally or physically. That's where the problem is.

And we should say that most crunchy moms are not extremists, most are loving parents trying their best. The extremists are just a loud minority.

Yeah, like in any circle, in any field. That's very important clarification. We're not here to judge or mock anyone. We don't have the right to, we're just here to discuss this with you.

Okay. So this is where we land, crunchy mom culture reflects real desires for control, for community, for a sense of doing what's best. But like any parenting philosophy, it can become rigid, judgmental, even harmful when taken to extremes.

So we want to hear from you, are you a crunchy parent? Are you a silky one? Are you somewhere in between, have you ever felt pressure to be more one way or the other.

For our listeners without kids, who are not parents, have you noticed this trend on Chinese social media and what do you think of it? I can't wait to see your answers and also put in your request for any other topics you want us to talk about in the future.

So until next time.

We'll see you next time.

Bye.

Bye.

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文稿校对：Wanda & Jenny

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