I've separated the green bits from the stalky bits and treat it just as you would pak choi bok choi which you'd pay quite a premium for in the supermarket.

我把绿色和茎干开，就像你在超市里花高价买白、小白一样。

I thought about calling him, but nothing says stalky, insecure girlfriend like someone who calls at four a.m. My thoughts whirred and tumbled and fell in a great toxic cloud.

我想过给他打，没有什么比凌晨四点打给他更能说明顽固、缺乏安全感女朋友了。